I’ve been putting off this post, mainly because I didn’t want to think about Lonnie Hull DuPont being gone. She sang with me on this song, and Iʻll be forever thankful I asked her…
According to Lonnie, we met at a pastor’s prayer breakfast in 1971, soon after I came to college. We were both performing there for Youth for Christ, and we just sort of clicked. From that time on, we somehow just understood each other. We appreciated each other’s art, and encouraged each other in our efforts to create something worthwhile. I was a little in awe of her, to tell the truth. And sometimes a little scared: that’s because she always told me the truth.
In those next few years, we performed together, we sang in friends’ weddings, she sang background vocals on three of my record albums. In her Ann Arbor days, we hung out with friends and watched Jon & Kathy’s family grow little by little while we played Trivial Pursuit. When she lived in Jackson, Jon and Kathy and I took the train to visit her and listened to her read her poetry one entire afternoon.
Although Iʻm talking mainly about her music, she was much better known for her poetry and book writing and editing—with many publications of all three. But she always discounted her musical ability for some reason, so I did everything I could to encourage her. I always thought she had a phenomenal voice.
Later, as her writing career was expanding, I visited her when she was with Guideposts in New York, and then when she was with Harper in San Francisco. In between visits we wrote letters. (Remember letters?) When she lived in Greece in 1982–83, we wrote at least once a month, trading news, and work, thoughts and dreams. And I shared with her the pain I was going through trying to reconcile my faith and my sexuality. And when I finally found my way to David, she sang “House on the Ocean” at our wedding.
That same afternoon, she announced to us that she, too, had found a life partner in Joe DuPont, better known as Surfer Joe, and she was so happy. Over the years that followed, we kept in touch, as much as we could.
When we learned of her diagnosis early in 2023, we were so shocked it seemed like time stood still, and in the weeks following, I did something of a nostalgia nosedive. I found her letters, put them all in order and read through them, then read through them again. There were three special ones that I thought really illustrated who Lon was to me. I brought them with me to the memorial, and read the following excerpts.
On 22 Mar 1983 she wrote this from Greece:
“…and when I’m living in your area we can talk and talk and talk. Doug, in your letter you tell me about your loneliness…and everything. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Until you do, while I’m around, you can call me any time of the night (it’s easy for me to go back to sleep) and you can talk to me about anything. That’s a promise and I know I can come through. I must warn you though, I think differently than many of the people around you.”
On 21 Mar 1977 she wrote from Michigan:
“I have always felt a gut-level understanding of you that I never analyzed but accepted…Sometimes I feel like you’re my cosmic twin and other times I just love you yourself, because you are so precious. I truly thank God that I was given our friendship and our mutual admiration for each other’s songs…I really hope, like we talked about before, that someday we’ll all be together in sharing our incredible healing Savior with others and in singing our lives and loves. I know a time is coming.”
And on 14 Mar 1989 she wrote from San Francisco:
“Can’t God love us into making good decisions for ourselves? Decisions we make out of self-respect and an eye-opening understanding of how God made us? And what the heck is the hurry? You don’t have to decide anything until you’re ready. This is not a youth rally, with buses waiting. (‘I see that hand…’)”
At the close of that letter she says:
“Try changing your prayers. Sort of meditate and open yourself to the possibility that God wants you to spend all this energy on love instead of panic.”
I reminded her of those last couple of passages when I wrote to her after the diagnosis. She wrote back:
“I had finally gotten to the point where I thought I could say those things [to you], and it’s so wonderful to remember that they helped. How cool. And now, in my particular circumstance, I get to say back to myself that God wants me to spend my energy ‘on love instead of panic.’ It has come full circle, my friend.”
Lonnie was one of the cornerstone friendships of my life, a touchstone for me. A mysterious, bejeweled touchstone. She left this life the first of August 2023.
Jimmy Webbʻs “Simile” is the last recording we did together, and I remember Lon telling me how much she loved it—even including the lyrics in her journal. Itʻs the most beautiful song about writing a song Iʻve ever heard. And I suppose you could say, about living a life. Lonnie, we miss you so much.
Lonnie Links
Lonnie‘s YouTube channel – https://www.youtube.com/@LonnieHullDuPont
Books, poems and such – https://duckduckgo.com/?q=lonnie+hull+dupont+books&t=newext&atb=v339-1&ia=web
Lonnie sang background vocals on my songs Just To Think About You, The Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction, Hollywood, Liar, Dweller by the Dark Stream, and Simile
Lonnie also performed as a soloist (including a couple of her original songs) on Victory in Jesus
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